major dream
just like run away from home right now and go somewhere far far far away and have really nice adventures instead of being bored all day and having feelings
to eat and be fat vs to not eat and be skinny
november 07
I really really REALLY really really really want a cute puppy cockapoo I want it so bad I want to cry
november 05
…and this quarter’s grades!!!:
ap lang - 93.1
ap world -91.5
ap psych - 94.1
hon anatomy - 95.7
hon chinese 3 - 95.3
orchestra - 96.4
tech - 98.6
tears of joy
november 02
I almost have straight A’s!!! I only have one B 89.3 right now and my AP Lang teacher still needs to update my grade because there are other assignments he didn’t put yet omg I am so close please please get an A PLEASE!!!
october 20
Saw Perks of Being A Wallflower today and it was really nice. I liked the soundtrack.
going back on a diet…
october 3 (feelings)
I am so sad and I just want to cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry until my eyes are very red and puffy and until I can’t open them anymore and I want to sleep for a very very very long time, the same amount of sadness that I am feeling and I am so extremely tired and stressed and every inch of my body hurts (my back hurts, my feet hurt, my legs hurt, my arms hurt, my head hurts, everything hurts I am physically and emotionally and mentally hurt) and school is very overwhelming and so is work and life is so overwhelming and difficult right now and I just want to cry and I am just drowning in seas of homework and tests and quizzes and grades and terrible customers and work overall and my own voice in my head telling me “you need to do better on this and this and this and also this and you need to do more, you need to do this, that is not good enough, you need to do more” and all the time I keep on disappointing myself and saying harsh things to myself but I do try to be positive I really really do try but lately I’ve just been having breakdown after breakdown like I am just breaking down every where and crying every week and it is affecting other people who I really love but I don’t want to bother anyone and so I just have to keep smiling and telling myself all these positive things to force myself to be okay but I feel that I force almost everything on myself and it makes me so unhappy and I have never ever been this stressed out and messed up before.
